I think it all started when I watched Brother Bear, in my first month living in the US, on the boat. The two moose were the comic relief of the film, and I fell in love with them. The two actors, who made the moose’s’ voices, looked each like his respective moose. Or the other way around. I found that absolutely genius. In the film, the moose have a Canadian accent, and they do yoga – “salutaaaaations to the sun”. They apparently have more legs than they need, and don’t seem to know to use them elegantly. They are a little lanky.

I kept the moose in a drawer in my mind, and kept on living in California, among seagulls, seals and pelicans.

Until I moved to Texas. Here, some friends laughed like crazy when I said “that thing is enormoose”, meaning “enormous”.  Pure Brazilian accent. I think that made me open the moose drawer and it all started again. I kept saying to myself, as a frustrated biologist – “I need to check those guys in person, some day”.

Well, the day has come. And when it rains, it pours! I decided to make a trip to Maine last weekend and here are a few stories and photos. If before I liked moose very much, now I do love them. I have never seen a moose that I did not like!

More moose photos at the end of our trip, or here.

CONTINUE READING HERE.

So I decided to make a list of nice things. I am pretty good at finding them when I am on the road, traveling, all excited about my discoveries.  At home, though, I let them slip through my fingers…. and I can be existential and heavy like Henri the Cat (he reminds me too much of myself .)

So here is a list (to be continued):

1.  I live in a place that has practically no crime (mainly when compared to the city where I was born and raised!);

2.  I am in good health (I only think of how good this is when I get sick ;-} ;

3.  I turned 40 and I realized that I have a voice, and I have been speaking it! (this is actually pretty awesome and is actually worth a few items);

4.  I discover new things often, and fall in love with them. Now I am starting to work on gardening;

5.  I am not fat!!!!! (for a person that spent the childhood chubby, this is actually a blessing – to be fat at a young age is the worst you can wish to anyone. Believe me);

6.  I have plans to have more plans;

7.  I am pretty transparent when it comes to my values and dislike the world of appearances (I like this fact, although life would be easier if I preferred “shape” over “content);

8. Photographing is something that has always entertained me for hours. I never feel alone when I have my camera;

….

9. I saw a girl waiting for her ride today; it would be awful if I didn’t have a car here! I love my car;

10. I am debt-free! Yeah!!!!

11.

…

Meu mundo abriga pelo menos 4 paises – o pais onde nasci, o pais onde vivo, o pais de onde meu pai saiu (e trouxe com ele toda a bagagem invisivel) e o pais que eu faco todo dia, definindo e redefinindo minhas fronteiras constantemente, e me lembrando sempre que preciso do meu hino e do meu passaporte.
O tempo passa, e o meu mundo aumenta – aumentam as linguas, as culturas, as pessoas. Me sinto dona dos meus 40 anos, com disposicao para redefinir fronteiras, mas sem perder a terura. Olho para tras e vejo no horizonte, longe, longe, o meu pais original. Me pergunto como camnhei tanto e acho minha vida ja longuissima. Que colagem de gente, lugares, cheiros, sons, sonhos, imagens! Eh muita coisa. Tanta, que as vezes me transbordo, como hoje – eu queria condensar tudo num ponto, num Aleph, e olhar o ponto de fora.
A vida eh um sopro tao breve, e ao mesmo tempo tao intenso.
No meu passaporte, sou cidada da tristeza mais absoluta, e tambem das alegrias maiores – como em momentos onde me sinto dissolver, junto com minhas fronteiras. Hoje, porque ontem perdi um amigo, minha tristeza eh grande e estou muito pesada, ao mesmo tempo, grata por te-lo tido em minha vida.

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you’d ever say goodbye
And now I’m glad I didn’t know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I’d of had to miss the dance
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn’t I the king
But if I’d only known how the king would fall
Hey who’s to say you know I might have changed it all
And now I’m glad I didn’t know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I’d of had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I’d of had to miss the dance

Last week there was this dream with the basement of a house – and the basement was Brazil.

Then there was the dream with a friend that I brought over to my grandfather and grandmother’s house in Petropolis (one of the many they had – one that looked extremely cold and even haunted for me, as a child) – and this friend was a sort of very avant-garde theater director, and he made a play inside this house, one of those very bold plays, with a sharp critic to society. There were actors and actresses dancing, hanging on trapezes, all of them with refined costumes and great body expression. My family got pretty pissed at me for having brought that friend over, without a hint that the play would be so offensive (they took it as an offense). I felt bad and in the end felt angry with the guy, too.

Then there was this other fantastic play inside Lilian’s house. Lilian was living in this amazing house (maybe in Tucson, maybe somewhere else). I was coming back from Brazil and went to visit her, but wasn’t sure about the date to come back home (I didn’t want to miss today’s photo workshop, but had forgotten about it). There were people coming for this other fantastic play happening in her house. The costumes were again fantastic, and there were performances happening all over the place. I found it all new and interesting…

I have been living not in time, but in people. This explains a lot of my mistakes and successes.

I am a chair.

No, no, not a chaise-longue. An old, left-aside chair, that doesn’t fit the new winning look. People walk on me, across me, I am a ghost chair.

Sometimes red with anger, sometimes white.  While the moving people don’t come along and get me, I am still here dreaming of becoming the sofa that I really am.

Apoem is a naked person… Some people say that I am a poet.
A song is anything that can walk by itself.
Basically you have to suppress your own ambitions in order to be who you need to be.
Democracy don’t rule the world, You’d better get that in your head; This world is ruled by violence, But I guess that’s better left unsaid.
I have dined with kings, I’ve been offered wings. And I’ve never been too impressed.
If I wasn’t Bob Dylan, I’d probably think that Bob Dylan has a lot of answers myself.
Money doesn’t talk, it swears.
No one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky.
This land is your land and this land is my land, sure, but the world is run by those that never listen to music anyway.
Well, the future for me is already a thing of the past.
What’s money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.
When you cease to exist, then who will you blame?

Well, the moral of the story
The moral of the song
Is simply that one should never be
Where ones does not belong

BOB DYLAN (The Ballad of Frankie Lee and Judas Priest)

De pintar as unhas de preto. De tatuar minha nuca, meu ombro, meu braco e meu pe. De tatuar quem me tatua e o tatu que passa, passo a passo.
De dar bofetada no colega mimado e no marido que nao percebe minhas vontades. Nunca vai perceber.

Vontade de nao ter raiva, mas essa vontade ja passa, porque a raiva hoje desfila na avenida, como a Mangueira, na cidade que ja nao eh minha.

Hoje me imagino em Rio Bonito de Lumiar, um dos lugares mais lindos em que ja estive, e tenho vontade de me mudar para la num piscar de olhos, e deixar a minha vida do jeito que eh, agora, aqui.

Sempre fui varias marinas, e onde ha marina, ha mar, e onde ha mar, ha travessias, portos, partidas e reencontros, e a vastidao do oceano. Todas as marinas que eu sou nos meus universos hoje vem reclamar suas partes na ponta do Iceberg que eu deixo emergir. Hoje ta foda!

Estou fora de foco, com uma faca na lembranca outra na vontade, fica assim, conversado, e a foca, deixo-a de lado.